Valhalla: Before The War Solution, by Chris Langham

1. Place the amplifier on the floor next to Grumbleweed

2. Stand on the amplifier and drink your mug of cider. This will cause you to do a giant burp into Grumbleweed's face

3. This will cause Grumbleweed's mouth to hang open in shock, forever. Also he will give you a fly trap

4. Go and insert your fly trap, 'some rings', earth and thermometer into the Genesis Machine. You must pooooooooke them in with your finger

5. Hooray! This will turn them into the planets Venus, Saturn, Earth and Mercury

6. Go and place the planets in order on the Cosmos Altars. As anyone who knows their astronomy knows, knows, the correct order from the sun is: Mercury, Earth, Venus, Saturn

7. Notice how Saturn is black, for some reason. Also notice how Mercury looks quite a lot like the biscuit on the floor (to the south)

8. Hooray the sun has lit up!

9. If you get the Lord of Infinity to examine it, he will shout "IT'S THE SUN!"

10. Congratulations, Master Games Player. Now you may go off and produce many sons, two of which will be a bit sexy, and one which will have a knacked face